Should Parents Be Friends with Their Children? 

It’s one of the most debated questions in modern parenting: Can you be both a parent and a friend to your child?

We asked parents and guardians what they think, and the responses revealed a fascinating divide.
Dr. Okorie offers this caution: “When parents focus on being friends, they risk losing the respect that children need to thrive within boundaries.” According to Dr. Okorie, children don’t just need companions—they need guides who can set limits, make difficult decisions, and provide structure even when it’s uncomfortable. The friendship model, while warm and appealing, may blur the essential boundaries that help children develop discipline and self-regulation.
But not all parents agree with this perspective. The conversation splits dramatically between those who embrace friendship and those who resist it.
Chinedu says YES: “I’m absolutely friends with my children. We joke together, share memes, talk about everything from school drama to their favorite music. This openness means they come to me first when they’re struggling, not last. Friendship doesn’t erase my authority—it strengthens it because they trust me. When I set boundaries, they understand it comes from love, not control. The warmth between us makes discipline more effective, not less.”

Tola says NO: “I love my children deeply, but I’m not their friend—I’m their parent. Dr. Okorie is right: when parents focus on being friends, they risk losing the respect children need to thrive within boundaries. My children don’t need another peer; they need a guide who can make tough decisions, say no when necessary, and hold them accountable. There’s plenty of time for friendship when they’re adults. Right now, they need structure, and that requires some distance.”
Both perspectives reflect genuine love and commitment to raising healthy children, yet they approach the parent-child relationship from opposite angles.

Now we want to hear from you:
Where do you stand? Are you Team Chinedu or Team Tola? Have you found a different balance altogether? What challenges have you faced in defining your relationship with your children?

Share your thoughts in the comments below. Your perspective matters, and other parents want to hear how you’re navigating this delicate balance.

Because every parent is trying to figure out the same thing: How do we love them well?